Why Are There Birdies In The Wall?
by ImNotAPsychopath
Summary: Bruce is drugged and Tony is stuck with him in prison that's going to blow up. Written with TheBustyBarmaid.


"Toooonnnny, Tony. Are you ignoring me?" Bruce giggled. "I feel goooood. Reeaal good."

Tony groaned. "Bruce, shut up!"

"Whyyyyy? I don' wanna."

"Because you're being obnoxious!"

"But Tooooonnnny, I have a question….. Tonyyyyyyyyyyyyy!" Bruce moved his head, seemingly listening to something.

"WHAT?!" Tony snapped.

"Whayyy are the birdies in the wall?" Bruce looked up at Tony, eyes wide and innocent.

"Birdies?" Tony frowned in confusion. "What?"

"The birdies!" He pushed his head closer to the wall. "Shhhhhh, I can hear them… They sound familiar…"

"And what do they sound like?" Tony asked sarcastically.

"I dunno," He listened closer. "It sounds like those things that go boom. And hurt. But how can birdies hurt you?" He looked back up at Tony with a childlike innocence.

Tony frowned. "What do you mean?"

"The birdies are singing faster? What does that mean, Tony?" Bruce looked up at his serious face and burst into laughter. "Did you… Did you know that the other guy calls you Tin Man. And Clint is Cupid… And Nat is Red… And Steve is… I don't remember what Steve is. Do you know, To-, Tin Man. He giggled again.

Tony frowned. "I'm not…" His voice carried hurt pride.

Bruce giggled and refused to stop. Between his laughter he said, "And Director is Pirate… And Thor is… Is… HAM!"

Tony pouted. "I'm not a tin man…"

Bruce kept laughing, then all of a sudden he got somewhat serious. "Tonyyy! The birdies sped up again." He frowned. "I think that's bad."

"Where are the birdies?"

"In the wall." Bruce cocked his head.

"Why are the birdies in the wall?"

"To go boom?" Bruce was getting confused.

"Why are they going to go boom?"

"To hurt us? Maybe…" Bruce's face twisted in confusion. "Why can't I hear the Other Guy? Is there something wrong with me?!" He looked around, confused.

"There's nothing wrong with you, Bruce." Tony hugged him.

"But, the other guy… And the birdies…. What about the birdies? Can you hear the birdies?"

Tony shook his head. "No, I'm sorry."

"But the birdies are really loud. And," Bruce looked slightly lucid for the first time in hours. "I get the feeling they're going to go boom. Is that bad?"

"Can you tell me where in the wall these birdies are?" Tony held him close.

"In the WALL! I keep saying that!"

"_Where_ in the wall?"

Bruce stood shakily. "Here, here, here, and here." He pointed to the four spots along the floor.

"Can you get them out?"

Bruce examined the wall, but came away shaking his head. "Wall be hard."

Tony huffed. "Just use the Big Guy."

"I can't _hear_ the Other Guy." Bruce looked back at Tony, disappointed in himself.

"Just… Make him pay attention or something."

"How?" He looked up at him, curious.

"Get angry."

"Angry?"

"Yeah, angry. You know, to the point where you destroy things."

"At what? I'm not angry. Everything feels too gooood." Bruce's face morphed back into a goofy smile. Tony growled before punching Bruce in the jaw. "Owww!" Bruce brought a hand to his face. "Why'd you do that?" He looked at Tony with hurt and betrayal on his face.

"Are you angry?"

"Hurt." Bruce looked at the ground.

Tony sighed before kissing Bruce's forehead and cheek. "Sorry." He murmured before kissing the spot he hit Bruce.

"Why you do that?"

"Because I was trying to make you angry."

"But it didn't work?"

"Apparently not." Tony sighed. "So I guess we're going to die." He laughed bitterly. "At least I'll go out with a bang." He sighed heavily. "Even though I told myself I wouldn't die as a prisoner."

"Die?" Bruce looked up sharply.

"Mhm."

"But you can't die. You… You're my best friend. You can't die!" Bruce started to panic.

"We're both going to die, Brucey." Tony murmured.

"But-!" Bruce worked up into a full blown panic, eyes turning a little green at the edges. "You can't die!"

"Well, we're going to." Tony shrugged.

Bruce growled, "Hulk not let Tin Man die!" Bruce transformed. "Hulk SMASH!"

Tony grinned triumphantly before sighing dramatically. "Alright, buddy. But I don't know if that will help. It might already be too late."

"Where Hulk SMASH?"

"I guess you could try there." Tony pointed to the spots Bruce pointed to.

Hulk roared and got to work. "Tin Man not die. Hulk protect Tin Man!"

"We'll see, buddy." Tony sighed. "We'll see."

Hulk pulled out one of the 'birdies'. "What Tin Man do with this?"

"Throw it far away, big guy." Tony smirked. Hulk shrugged and pitched the 'birdie through several walls. It flew for a couple of miles. Hulk began to dig up the others and throw them as they were uncovered. Tony grinned and watched the show. Maybe this would work. Once the Hulk had dug up the fourth, the timer started to beep really fast. He through the birdie as far as he could, then wrapped himself around Tony, feeling that this one wasn't going to go as far as it should. An explosion made Tony hug the Hulk back as tightly as he could. Which was wise, because even the Hulk was thrown forward a bit.

Hulk looked down at Tony, after regaining his balance. "Tin Man okay?"

"Yeah, I'm okay, big guy." Tony looked at him with a slight frown. "Are you?"

"Hulk fine." He blinked blearily. "Banner come back now?"

"If you think that would be best." Tony shrugged.

"Hulk not have say." Hulk shrunk back to Bruce, who simply did not get back up.

"Bruce." Tony knelt next to his best friend. "Are you alright?"

"Hurts, Tony." Bruce opened his eyes and closed them again.

Tony gathered the other scientist into his arms carefully and cradled him. "It's okay. I got you." He murmured softly.

"Where are the others?" Bruce looked up at him.

"I don't know yet."

"Okay." Bruce sighed.

"I'm more worried about you right now." Tony murmured, holding him closer.

"Why?"

"Because you're hurt!"

"I am?" Bruce attempted to sit up.

"You said you were."

"Shifting hurts." Bruce looked confused. "You didn't know?"

Tony shook his head. "Nope."

"Now you do." Bruce muttered darkly.

Tony's jaw clenched slightly before he sighed and hugged Bruce closer. "Yeah, I guess so." He murmured.

"Want out, Tony." Bruce looked up at him, imploringly. "Can we contact them?"

"We can try." Tony sighed before reaching into his pocket for his communicator. There was no signal. "Damn it." He muttered.

"Nice hole in wall over there. Maybe baddies left something behind." Bruce pointed to the lovely holes the bombs made as it sailed through the building, courtesy of the Hulk.

Tony smirked. "Bruce, I love you." He darted over to the hole. Bruce smiled. While Tony was gone, Bruce managed to drag himself over to a wall and prop himself up. Tony poked his head back in. "Bruce?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you need help?"

"Pants would be nice." Bruce leaned his head against the wall, eyes closed.

Tony looked down. "Ah. Right." He disappeared for a moment only to reappear and toss his own pants at Bruce. "There." He stood proudly in his Ironman boxers.

"Oh, god. Tony really?" Bruce pulled them on, nonetheless.

"What?" Tony looked down at the boxers he was wearing himself. "I like my franchise."

"Okay, nevermind." Bruce stood and moved slowly to where Tony was standing.

Tony pouted. "What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing. Let's just find a way out of here."

Tony pouted more. "Bruce…"

"Yeah?" Bruce looked at him. Tony pouted. "What?" Tony kept pouting at him. "You're confusing me?"

Tony grumbled before stomping off. "Forget it."

"What?" Bruce looked around.

"Nothing!"

"Okay?" Bruce looked around again. "What are we looking for?"

"A way out."

"Couldn't we just follow the holes in the wall, if that's what we wanted?"

"That's what I'm doing!"

"I thought we were going to contact the team?"

"That's also what I'm doing!"

"Oh, okay." Bruce slumped against the wall. "You keep doing that." Tony could be heard grumbling but nothing coherent was heard. Bruce sighed and closed his eyes, tired for Hulking out and the residue tranquilizer still in his system.

A few minutes passed before Tony reappeared. "I called the team." He said shortly.

"Great." Bruce slurred, tongue heavy. "When?"

"Five minutes." Tony sat a distance away from him, arms crossed.

"Good." Bruce looked at him, blearily. "You okay?" Genuine concern blatant on his face.

"Fine." Tony replied shortly.

"I don't believe you." Bruce said abruptly.

"I don't care."

"Did we do something wr-" Bruce passed out as the engines from the quinjet became audible. Tony ignored Bruce and hopped up to get into the quinjet.

"Where's Bruce?" Cap looked around confused. "Intel said he was with- Why are you in your underwear?"

Tony jabbed his thumb to where Bruce was before glaring at Steve. "Because I can." He snapped, walking into the jet without another word.

"Uhh. okay?" Cap got up to get Bruce.

Hawkeye groaned. "Boringest rescue mission ever!"

Tony hissed at Clint. "Shut up."

"What's got your Iron Panties in a twist?" Clint looked over from where he was hanging upside down near the cockpit.

"None of your business." Tony snapped. "Now shut up before I make your explosive arrows work against you."

"Alright, alright." Clint held up his hands defensively before swinging back into the cockpit.

Cap walked up with Bruce in his arms. "Let's get these guys home." Tony huffed but said nothing.

"On it, Cap!" Clint flipped some switches and they took off.

Cap put Bruce down on a bench and turned to Tony. "What happened?"

"None of your business, Rogers!" Tony hissed.

"Just asking for a report. Did you hit your head somewhere?" Cap looked at him searchingly.

"No. Just leave me alone!"

"Okay! I'm sorry?" Cap frowned but Tony didn't reply, merely crossed his arms tighter and stared harder and more angrily at the wall. Natasha went over to Bruce to check him over for injuries.

"WHY IS THE MAN OF IRON NOT SPEAKING TO THE ANGRY GREEN ONE?!" Thor boomed.

"We don't really know, Thor. Why don't you ask him?" Cap sighed.

"GREEN MAN, WHY IS THE MAN OF IRON NOT SPEAKING TO YOU?!" Thor yelled to Bruce.

Bruce groaned and blinked his eyes. "Wha-?"

"WHY IS MAN OF IRON NOT SPEAKING WITH YOU?!" Thor repeated.

Bruce covered his ears. "Tone it down!" He moved to sit up. "Why don't you ask him? I don't know."

"BECAUSE HE WILL NOT SPEAK!" Thor did tone it down a bit. Bruce groaned again and leaned back. "WHY IS HE ANGRY WITH YOU?!"

"I don't know! I was kind of out of it." Bruce rubbed his hand on his eyes. "I'm sorry for whatever I said."

"But you don't even know what you said!" Tony snapped before gritting his teeth and looking away.

"Sorry? What did I say then?" Bruce couldn't think clearly, his brain hurt.

"Clearly it doesn't matter!" Tony hissed.

"It does, though." Bruce muttered, leaning up to the cool metal wall of the quinjet.

"Not to you!"

'If it didn't mean anything to me, why would I be asking?" Bruce blinked blearily at him.

"I don't know!"

"Tony, please." Bruce looked at him, eyes drooped and pleading, but Tony's mouth just became more of a thin line. "Tony. I want to know. I'm sorry."

"Whatever." Tony muttered. Bruce felt hurt. He wanted to help, he didn't really remember much of what happened the past few hours because of the drugs raging through his system and from Hulking out. Tony didn't help the matters by sitting and sulking. Bruce fell asleep again, despite protests from the others. He was just too emotionally exhausted.

Clint called back from the cockpit. "ETA two minutes!" Tony didn't reply.

"Let's get Tony and Bruce ready for medical." Cap went over to Bruce, while Natasha went back to Tony. She gave him a hard look before strapping him in.

"I'm fine!" Tony snarled, pulling away.

"Good. That means _you _get to debrief." Natasha smirked and sat down next to him.

Tony snarled. "No."

"No choice there, buddy. Remember, Bruce has to debrief when he wakes up, too."

"Fuck you all." Tony muttered before glaring at the wall.

"Guys, meds waiting for you!" The back wall of the plane went down and medical swamped the place carrying Bruce and Tony out on stretchers. Tony hopped off the stretcher and stalked off without taking the meds, snapping at anyone who came near him. The doctors shrugged and moved on, knowing that he wouldn't get off the helicarrier without their agreement, they were more worried about Bruce anyway. Who currently wasn't responding. Tony continued his way to his quarters and slammed the door. Cap tried to follow him, but gave up when he heard the door slam and went to meet the rest of the team at medical.

"Well, I tried." Steve sighed.

Bruce was in and out of it for the next few hours, asking for Tony every time he kind of woke up. Tony was still sulking in his room. Cap finally had enough of Bruce's sad face every time he came around and went searching for Tony. But the sad thing about Tony was, when he didn't want to be found, he couldn't be. Not even by the assassin duo. Cap sighed and went back to medical, he was really surprised to see Tony already in the room and decided to give him some space. Tony glared at Bruce from the foot of his bed in a chair rather than sitting next to his friend like he usually would be. Bruce stirred, "Tony?" He looked around, when he finally saw his friend, his face lit up like a Christmas tree.

"Bruce." Tony replied coldly.

"Tony!" Bruce seemed unaffected by his cold tone. "The others said that you wouldn't come. That made me really sad. But you're here and I'm happy now."

Tony faltered a bit. "Yeah."

Bruce grinned brightly at him. "Did you get checked out? Will you be okay?"

"I'm fine, Bruce." He mumbled.

"Good. Hulk was worried about Tin Man."

Tony snorted. "Yeah…" He looked out the window.

"Tony okay now?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"That's good." He yawned. "I'm tired. Stay?"

Tony softened again. "Yeah." He murmured before laying down next to Bruce.

"Thanks." Bruce settled and fell asleep with his head on Tony's shoulder.

Tony smiled softly and kissed Bruce's forehead. "No prob." He murmured.


End file.
